Available Friday, November 23, 2012
Excerpt: Mr. Right Now by author Terri D.
Dear Journal,
Here I sit trying to fight back tears because I am so lost. I do not know how to go on living this way. Keeping all of this hurt and pain bottled up inside of me. It’s becoming unbearable, something has to change. I have been lying around sleeping and crying for weeks now. I am so close to a mental breakdown it’s scary, or maybe I am in the middle of it now, who knows. I feel like I am in the middle of this inner struggle part of me wants to breakdown curl up in a corner and continue to cry like a baby. The other part wants to be strong, rise above it all and become a successful professional woman, marry my soul mate and have a family.
Maybe that’s my problem I can’t determine how to define success anymore. What does success mean to me? Today success is getting through this day without breaking down. Yesterday success meant handling it all myself. Not worrying about controlling other people but doing what I needed to get the things I wanted done. A year ago success meant graduating from college, marrying my soul mate and starting a family.
Well I did graduate from college so I can cross that one off of my list. Marrying my soul mate, well it seems that’s not going to happen and as for starting a family well I technically did start one but I guess you can say I didn’t finish it. I wasn’t quite ready to embark on that adventure without my soul mate by my side so I did what I had to do. It’s been a month and I’m still asking myself if I did the right thing? No one to talk to about it since no one knows but me, God and the people at the hospital where I left my baby.
I don’t even know if it’s a girl or a boy. There is a child out there somewhere who will one day learn that they were adopted and they will wonder why their parents gave them up. How could I ever face my child and tell them why? The reason makes sense to me the parent but the children always feel abandoned, like they were not wanted or good enough to be kept. It’s sort of how I feel right now myself. Why did Benjamin abandon me? Wasn’t I good enough? Didn’t he love me enough to know that we could make it through any challenge we were faced with?
( Continued Black Friday, November 23! )
Copyright © 2012 by author Terri D. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission from the publisher. Excerpt provided solely for the personal use of visitors to the EDC Creations website or Facebook blog. More books from this author: http://www.amazon.com/Terri-D./e/B004ICTIZ4
BPM: Tell us about your journey becoming a successfully published author. Do you have anyone in your life that was heavily influential in your deciding to become an author?
I have always kept journals and written poetry and short stories. One of my best friends who I have known over 20 years has always enjoyed my writing; she always complimented me on how well I express myself in writing. I didn’t plan on writing a book I just had an idea and started writing one night in 2010. After a few chapters I shared what I had written with my friend and she encouraged me to continue and finish the story.
BPM: Ultimately, what do you want readers to gain from your book?
I wrote it as entertainment however there are some strong messages in the book. I would like for my readers to really think about their relationships and the decisions that they make everyday when interacting with each other. Sometimes we hide things or keep secrets to spare feelings but in the end we are doing ourselves and our friends a disservice by not being honest and truthful.
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