OUR SONS by Diane A. Sears

15 Oct

Fourteen years ago, immediately after the launch of  IN SEARCH OF FATHERHOOD(R), something very profound happened.  I began receiving letters from young men — Our Sons.  Their letters enclosed brilliantly crafted essays and soulful poems.  They asked me to publish them.  And I did.  In exchange for their essay or poem, they received a free copy of  IN SEARCH OF FATHERHOOD(R).  A number of these young men continued to send essays and poems.  And they sent letters.  These were young men — Our Sons — from, among other places,  New York, California, Texas, Alabama, Michigan, Pennsylvania, North Carolina, and Indiana. 

So, what was profound about receiving poetry, essays, and letters from these young men?

Each letter had a similar introductory sentence: 
“I am 23 and I have been incarcerated since I was 18.  Will you publish my essay?  Can I get a free copy of your publication? ” or “I am 28 and I have been incarcerated since I was 16. I’m sending you a poem I’d like you to publish.”  Many of these young Men — Our Sons are Fathers — Fathers of daughters and sons. They do not tell me how or why they embarked upon a path that led them to a maximum security correctional facility.  Nor do I ask.   

But I do have questions:   What is going on with Our Sons?  What is going on in Our Sons’ homes, schools, and communities?  And how do we fix whatever is going on that is driving Our Sons down the path to prison with all deliberate speed?

On the whole, when Our Sons are born, they emerge from the womb with unbridled energy, insatiable curiosity, and irrepressible  enthusiasm. They are playful, resilient, and incessantly asking questions.  And then unexplainably, for some of Our Sons — “the lights go out”.  They no longer soak up knowledge like a sponge.  Gone is the bright smile that once illuminated their faces.  Their eyes no longer sparkle.  So, again I ask the question:  What is going on at home .. .. . at school . .. . and in our communities?

Our Sons — including Our Sons who are housed in juvenile and adult correctional facilities — want and need to know what every soul in the global village we know as Planet Earth wants to know:  Do you hear me?  Do you see me?  Do I matter?  

Perhaps one of the key “pieces of the puzzle” to preventing the “lights from going out” in the spirit and souls of Our Sons and keeping them out of juvenile and adult correctional facilities is to tell them in words and deeds — every day — “I hear you!  I see you!  And yes, you do matter  You matter because you are the heart and soul of the village. 

You matter because you are the future of the Village.  You matter because one day you are going to be a leader In the village.  You matter because one day you are going to be someone’s husband . . . someone’s Father . . .  Yes, you matter . . . and you are loved!”

About the Author

Diane A. Sear
s is the Managing Editor of a quarterly international male parenting journal — IN SEARCH OF FATHERHOOD(R) Forum For and About the Fathers of the World and a member of the University Council for Akamai University in connection with its Fatherhood and Men’s Studies program. Ms. Sears has published interviews of more than 100 Men who are Fathers.

She has authored and published reviews of numerous books which explore Fatherhood and men’s rights issues, including “Father And Child Reunion” by Warren Farrell, Ph.D.; “Swallowed By A Snake: The Gift Of The Masculine Side Of Healing,” by Thomas R. Golden, LCSW; and “The Ultimate Survival Guide for the Single Father” by Thomas Hoerner.

Sears is featured in the 2003-2004 National Register’s Who’s Who In Professionals and Executives and is a member of the Greater Philadelphia Chamber of Commerce.

Diane A. Sears
Twitter:  @DASears

Order The Book:   IN SEARCH OF FATHERHOOD(R) facilitates a Global Dialogue on Fatherhood and Men’s Issues and brings together stakeholders from all Walks of Life throughout our global village who offer key “pieces of the puzzle” to empowering Fathers; strengthening and healing our families and our communities; and creating a better and safer world for our children.

In Search Of Fatherhood by D. A. Sears.  Amazon  Link:

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Posted by on October 15, 2013 in Uncategorized


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