By Tumika Patrice Cain
Inside every woman is an inner princess. That place which beckons to be pampered, adored, adorned, and treated with the kidskin gloves of royalty. It is not in the fantasies of little girls because Disney created Cinderella and a host of princesses thereafter. Instead it stems from a reality that we are from the stock of true royalty. Divinity, even. We are the result of having been created from the ultimate King. The Most High, the most royal, the most divine is our Father.
And just like in the fairytales, we earthly princesses have come across evil witches, possessed octopuses, and bitten into poisonous apples given by beguiling serpents who have planned our demise. All in an attempt to strip us from our rightful place in the kingdom. All in an attempt to convince us that we are not who we were born to be; created to be. All in an attempt to persuade us that the only life that lies ahead for us is that of a pauper.
And for many years, many of us choose to believe these lies. We begin to attract men who tear us down with their harsh words, hard hands and complete ignoring of our needs. In our attempts to get our needs met, we chase them. Chase them hard. We think, I don’t want him to forget me. Maybe if I call him more, buy him what he wants, make myself available to his beck and call, then he will be willing to stand up and be the prince I know I need. It is with each attempt that we lose more and more of our layers of divinity. No longer do we walk with our heads held high. The straight ramrod posture we used to have is replaced with slumped shoulders. The princess has begun to carry burdens she doesn’t have the strength, the stamina or the stature to hold. She wasn’t created to; we weren’t created to. What was once a sparkle in her eyes falls away to a dull glimmer and eventually the light extinguishes altogether. In the midst of all of this, she has forgotten who she is; we have forgotten who we are. She doesn’t dress the same, walk, talk or move the same.
Meanwhile the evil one plotting her demise sits along the sidelines laughing, convinced she will lay down and die. Convinced we will lie down and die. But princesses are strong. We are made that way. For how can you care for the needs of others and make life better for those who haven’t tapped into their inner power if we are weaklings. No, the call of a princess is to offer a better chance for those who have not yet found their way. Truly things look as if there is no answer in sight. There appears to be no knight in shining armor or prince whose kiss is so potent it can withstand the walls of darkness, but I remind you again that we come from the root of all royalty. And our champion is there to save, to heal, to rescue and to set us on the right course leading back to our rightful place. That is, if we are willing to do the work.
This is the piece the fairytales fail to mention. There is work involved in getting back to a place of wholeness. But as the old adage goes, “When the student is ready, the teacher appears.” There are times it feels we will never reach the end from all the damage that has been done. But truly we are able. One step at a time, albeit however slow those steps might be. Slow and steady. That is the key. And, of course, obedience to the One who knows the very path we need to take in order to get out of the enchanted forest and back onto the palace grounds.
Like Esther who went through a year of beauty treatments before being presented to the king, our lives should reflect that same level of care. Our skin should glow from the delicious, healthy foods that have been placed on the earth for us to eat. We should be rubbed with the finest oils as the tension is massaged out of our bodies. Our teeth should gleam because we take the time to take care of them. There should be so much bounce in our hair that a slight breeze causes it to lift and fall right back into place. And our eyes should sparkle like starlight because we get enough rest.
As daughters of the King, it is important for us to take time to reflect; to figure out if we are on course, and if not, design a plan to get us where we want to go. Everything in the universe was designed to help us maximize our life’s experience. It is not for the kingdom princesses to be burdened down with relationships with those who cause stress, discord and unrest.
The life of a princess should be easy. Easy on the eyes, easy on the mind, easy on the body, easy on the spirit. And of the ladies in waiting, we have no time for jealousy, backbiting, or rude attempts to tear down. Not everyone will be where we are and that is okay. But it is not for us to sacrifice the life we are destined to have to those who have not stepped into their own kingdom position. Living the life of a princess means embracing who we were created to be. It may be necessary to cut some people loose, but don’t lose heart, dear one. He who sees all, created all, will send others to fill that place. Keeping our hearts open and full of light is our only job as it pertains to this part of life.
Love those who have hurt us – even if we have to love them enough to let them go and love them from a distance. Whatever was done isn’t worth the turmoil and lack of peace it takes to keep reliving the experience. Hurting people hurt people…and they hurt themselves, too. Since we know who we are and we know what we give, it is a hurt to their own selves when they mistreat us and have the access to our lives severed. Their leaving is not a reflection on us, no matter what evil words they let spew from their own mouths. It is out of the abundance of the heart that the mouth speaks. So we love them and pray blessings of healing and love, direction and deliverance, health and prosperity into their lives – never forgetting the kiss that woke us up out of a terrible slumber and started us on the road to our own place in the kingdom. We don’t forget, but we don’t have to be part of everyone’s journey either.
So, today go and get pedicures, after all we cannot have chipped toenails while wearing glass slippers. And when we step out, it is with confidence and assurance in who we are and what we deserve. We are daughters of the Most High, princesses in our own right. If perhaps we have not been willing to truly accept our role, today we make the decision to step into our rightful place. If we have accepted that we are princesses, then we take some time to reflect to make sure all is as it should be. Either way, there is an amazing life awaiting each one of us. Today is the day we decide will not live beneath our privilege. Others are waiting on us to take our rightful place to see by example that they can do it too. This is our role as princesses: to encourage, uplift and help others realize their own potential for greatness.
Changing lives one word at a time…Tumika Patrice Cain
Meet the Author
Tumika Patrice Cain is an award-winning author, media personality and publisher whose works centers around uplifting, encouraging and empowering others to live the abundant life. She is also an accomplished poet; founder of the Say What?? Book Club; and host of the internet radio shows Living Abundantly with Tumika Patrice Cain, In The Spotlight, and Say What?? Author Spotlights.
In addition, she is a respected book reviewer and columnist for PEN’Ashe Magazine, a contributing writer for BLOG and Belief Magazines, and editor for two smaller publishing companies. A champion for indie authors, she works tirelessly to level the playing field to bring exposure to those authors who excel at their craft, but whose marketing budgets are limited. Inkscriptions, her publishing company, offers a myriad of book publishing services. Living by the motto of each one reach one, each one teach one, Tumika shares her passion for purpose and for life with all who cross her path.
She is the 2013 recipient of a Spoken Word Billboard award for her debut novel, Season of Change (December 2012), a novel that has since been picked up by Shan Presents and will be re-released as When a Man Loves a Woman – A Season of Change in December 2015. To her publishing credit, she is also the author of After the Rain…a Poetry Collective (March 2014) and The Heart of a Woman (August 2015). Tumika’s works have been published in numerous magazines, anthologies, newsletters and periodicals.