Men and Intimacy: Real Talk, Real Answers by Therez Fleetwood

03 Mar

There are countless books on men and relationships that analyze and interpret men’s feelings about intimacy from a clinical or therapeutic approach. However, there are very few books that actually highlight men’s points of view on this topic in an uncut, complete, raw and emotional way.

Author, Therez Fleetwood, explores the complexities of relationships through the minds of men who give real, no holds barred answers to the questions that women want to ask.

There are many women who feel disconnected from their partner and desire to create a deeper bond.  This book is for those who are seeking to understand why men do the things they do when it comes to intimacy-related acts.  Oftentimes, women spend countless hours asking other women for advice on their relationships when they should be going directly to the source.  Men and Intimacy, Real Talk. Real Answers is the source. What you will discover is what men really think about intimacy, women, relationships, sex, love, cheating, and pornography.

As ‘Gordon’ the Behavioral Therapist stated in “Men’s Last Words,” “I think the book project is necessary. These issues are real.  They are not discussed, but they are prevalent and I think anything that provides a porthole, particularly for men of color, to express themselves, is freeing in and of itself.  I find that other races have a platform to express themselves whereas men of color do not and the family nucleus is suffering as a result thereof.”

Over fifty men, between the ages of thirty and sixty, share their voices and their viewpoints to offer us untapped information in which most of them have never openly revealed before. The men interviewed range in professions from actors to ministers, to newscaster and ex-marines, and almost any profession in between.  The questions asked in this book are probing and the answers are direct. Whether you are married or single, female or male, this book will open up a pathway to conversation and exploration.

In Men and Intimacy, Real Talk. Real Answers you will learn: Do men really want intimacy? What do men find sexy in a woman? Do men get bored with sex? Why do men cheat?  What are the most important things to men in a relationship?  This book explores what type of women are men really looking for and much MORE!

This book was not written to point fingers or blame men in any way.  It was written to allow men to be fully self-expressed.  It will also help men find their voice of self-expression as they read and connect with the different answers provided by this diverse group whose statements may resemble their own.   My hope with Men and Intimacy, Real Talk, Real Answers is that couples use these questions as a guide to help discover intimacy within each other through honest conversations and begin their journeys of creating intimacy together.

Book Reviews

Great insight to how men think about relationships.
“This book gave a great insight to how men feel and think about relationships from a man’s point of view. It felt like reading parts of a man’s diary of his relationships. Very entertaining and insightful”.- Darnell Smith

This Book is a Great Personal Investment!
“Men and Intimacy is unlike most books about male/female relationships. You hear from a variety of men some of whom (types) we all know personally, who may or may no be honest with us about how they really feel about women and intimacy. Some of the responses made me laugh; some responses made me angry; and some gave me hope and confirmed to me that there are a lot of good men out here… still available. I thoroughly enjoyed the read. Lots of questions we, as women, don’t or can’t ask men and can expect a truly honest answer. Here you feel as though you’re getting it. What I got from this book is so much more than the small investment I made. Buy it for yourself. Buy it for your girlfriends, daughters, moms, and sisters for you’ll want to keep your copy close by and refer to it often”.- R. Willis



Sneak Peek Inside Real Talk. Real Answers.

What Is Intimacy to Men? – Page 10
Intimacy to me is when the mind, body, spirit, and soul of two individuals collide on an emotional level.  I’ve been intimate and I did not have a connection. I was close to someone but I did not have an emotional connection and I’ve been close to women and I haven’t had a spiritual connection.  I feel when I am truly intimate and when our energies collide in such a way where we are desiring to go to the same place, and that’s just not the climax but the journey to it, then a lot of things are happening. Being a minister and a prophet, I believe that when we have sex or when we become intimate, our spirits become entangled.– GORDON

Men Feel Love Too – Page 18
For me, the times I was in love, it felt like a pain in my heart. The type of pain I would feel if I was losing that person… it was almost like a mini heart attack.  It is like missing that person and feeling as though the blood stopped flowing to my heart or something, it’s a serious pain. I can’t fake it. The times that I had been in love that pain had physically happened to me because I felt it in my heart. – OMARI

Men and Communication – Page 45
I don’t always communicate my needs because I don’t want to be needy. My appearing not to be needy I think goes back to the way I was raised where the man is supposed to be taking care of everything. I would prefer to be giving more than I am receiving.  Giving more love then receiving it,  is just something I grew up with. – GIANNI

Can Men Be Loyal? – Page 90
The way a woman keeps a man is to stroke his ego, affirm his strengths and be complimentary… that’s all the lion wants to hear. As the king of the castle, I want to know that I’m doing a decent job being a provider and taking care of her needs. – MAURICE

Can Women Strengthen Men? – Page 101
Oh yeah!  My wife made me stronger as a man.  If it wasn’t for her, I wouldn’t be where I am right now because I was out being a man hoe and not focusing on my future. I was just focusing on having fun. I was ready to settle down and I found someone who was compatible for me. – DORIAN

The Pain Men Feel After a Breakup – Page 111
Yes, I’ve been in love where I was head over heels about her and could not think about anyone else but that person. When we broke up it was one of the most miserable feelings in my life actually.  It made me sick. It made me very depressed.  It even made me have fleeting thoughts of –“if I were not alive anymore it would be better”.  I was feeling this way for about 3-4 months but that lingering feeling, to a smaller degree, has stayed with me for almost my entire life.  –D. NICE

Why Men Watch Porn  –  Page 139
Yes, of course I watch porn! My mind is constantly thinking about sex. It’s like stepping out into the sun and feeling the sun’s rays on you.  It’s the same thing with sex for a guy. It’s like we’re sitting around and we say “hey, I want to go outside for a minute”. – MALCOLM

Do Men Get Bored With Sex? – Page 153
Do I get bored with sex?  No.  Do I get bored with sex with one person… hell yeah! But it doesn’t have to be. I wouldn’t get bored with sex with the same person if she would be more involved and if she wanted to take it to the next level and be creative.  My sex life now is almost null and void but whenever I have sex, it’s me performing all the acts and she just lays there. I feel like I’m a charity case.  Like she wears a watch and sets a timer and say “I’ll give you three minutes”.  I do what I do because I don’t get it.  I got five minutes, so it might be the only five minutes that I get for the next few months so I say “fuck it!” It isn’t going to be great but at least I get some. – TRAVIS




Therez Fleetwood launched her first company under the label of PheZula Collection, dressing celebrity clients such as Angela Bassett, Vanessa Williams, Yolanda Adams, Kim Coles and Queen Latifah as well as gift designer for Avon Products.  She designed the only Kente cloth costumes worn by Mickey and Minnie Mouse at Disney World.  She is also the author of the national bestseller, The Afrocentric Bride, A Style Guide (ISBN 0-9727519-1-2).

For the past twenty-five years, Therez has been catering to brides and grooms around the world and it is her experience in working with couples that has provided her the abundance of information to launch this platform of conversation and discovery.

Therez has been a guest on several television shows including the Today Show, Good Day New York and the Dallas Morning News and her work has been on display at the City Museum of New York and Fashion Institute of Technology.

Therez has also worked as a life coach in the field of self-expression and leadership and is the former owner of Therez’s Playhouse, which provided couples with ways to rekindle the romance, intimacy and bliss in their relationships.

Purchase Men and Intimacy, Real Talk. Real Answers by Therez Fleetwood

What Men really feel about Love, Relationships, Women, Sex and MORE!
Printed and Kindle versions:


The Afrocentric Bride by Therez Fleetwood

Featuring the Therez Fleetwood Bridal Collection, THE AFROCENTRIC BRIDE offers valuable information, styling tips and fashion advice for every bride of color who wants to look and feel her best. Gowns, beads, fashions, headpieces, jewelry and more . . .

Ms. Fleetwood creates her bridal collection with the African-American bride in mind. In THE AFROCENTRIC BRIDE she shares her secrets on how to create an Afrocentric gown by using fabrics imported from Africa, adorning it with cowrie shells, embroidering and quilting it with natural colors and fibers, as well as wearing your favorite soft pastel shade or a wonderful vibrant red.


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