5 Essentials to Help Women Protect Their Health and Wellness When Mastering Negotiations

17 Oct

5 Essentials to Help Women Protect Their Health and Wellness When Mastering Negotiations.
Raye Mitchell, Esq –

Health and Wellness are Prime Ingredients For Women Who Want to Brew Their Secret Sauce for Success as Master Negotiators

Honored to Join the 2018 Fall Digital Hollywood Conference. Here’s What I Want to Add to the Conversation

On October 17, 2018, I join an elite panel hosted by the Alliance for Women in Media, Southern California Affiliate, at the prestigious Digital Hollywood Conference in Los Angeles. The mission for this panel of Hollywood executives is to discuss insider secrets on how women become master negotiators.

The topic is, of course, timely as we continue the era of #MeToo and the Time’s Up movement, in which women of all backgrounds are committed to correcting the power imbalance favoring white males, not women and people of color. Long before I joined the #MeToo and the Time’s Up movement as a lawyer in the Time’s Up Legal Defense Fund network, I committed my platform to help women and girls negotiate better outcomes, resolve conflicts, and reach favorable agreements in high-conflict environments and situations, often while enduring overt and subtle forms of bias and hostility.


PANEL @DIGITAL HOLLYWOOD (@dhollywood): This session is moderated by award-winning broadcast news journalist K.J. Matthews (“AC 360,” “The Situation Room,” “New Day,” “CNN Tonight with Don Lemon,” “Erin Burnett OutFront,” “Larry King Live,” “Nancy Grace,” and “Morning Express with Robin Meade”). @KJMatthewsstvwith panelists:

• Joel Eisenberg, Film and TV writer/producer and partner, Council Tree Productions #joeleisenberg

• Julia Verdin, Veteran filmmaker, writer and award-winning director, founder of Artists For Change (@juliaverdin)

• Sandy Abrams,, Author of Breathe to Succeed. (@sandyabrams, #Breath & #Mindset.)

As I prepared my notes for the panel, I wanted to focus on a message that I could contribute that would help women in the audience enhance their ability to get in the game, stay in the game, and level up their ability to negotiate the game. Whether confronting a contract or salary negotiation, a #MeToo challenge, or opportunities to advance their initiatives in Hollywood, blue-collar workplaces nationwide, and personal adventures, most women do not want to win battles by compromising their self-care and self-worth.

In general, negotiation or its processes deal with bargaining, seeking to discover common ground, or reaching an agreement to resolve a conflict or divergence of opinion or perspective. The effective component of tough negotiations is the ability to find common ground so stakeholders walk away with a sense of balance for all involved.

Of course, in today’s world exchanges are sharp, hostile, and reflective of deep divides. The unfortunate reality is that we inhabit an environment in which we are fighting to hold the line and regain ground lost to progress on the age-old issues of bias, inequality, and fairness. We are in an era of unprecedented upheaval and persistent testing of our ability to innovate, move the needle forward, and resist the urgency of now that seeks to divide and to create conflict and discourse as the only means of civil engagement. This level of hostility taxes our ability to maintain our health and well-being.


Women as Negotiators
Despite the above mentioned, women are uniquely positioned to yield tremendous power at the bargaining table and lead as transformational negotiators with a knack for addressing complex problems. However, to succeed and navigate effectively, we must do more than master a set of negotiation skills; we must draw upon our power centers and influence expertise and our inner agility skills, which are not just skills based. We must be healthy, well, and of good spirit in the process so the struggle for equality does not destroy our well being during the journey.



Guarding Our Health and Wellness
We can both win and lose simultaneously if we are not mindful of our health and well being in the process of “getting to yes.” In my experience, there are at least five key health and wellness practices that can meaningfully contribute to the mindset needed for being a master negotiator. Many of these principles are intuitive, but too often ignored in traditional courses and discussions regarding the strengthening of leadership and negotiation skills. Taken together, with other core negotiation skills’ development, they can be the essential ingredients for making your personal secret negotiation sauce, leading to inner agility and effective negotiation skills development:


1. Start with a check on the tendency toward extreme positions. So many times, we become enraged and pursue an issue based on principle. However, a health and wellness perspective compels you to pause while remaining engaged in action so you can create a safe space for clear judgment, original thinking, and speedy, purposeful action. The pursuit of a principle can be costly emotionally, if unchecked.


2. Next, enhance your ability to measure risks and rewards. Negotiations are not always about money and power, and often, people caught in the rhythm of a give-and-take negotiation focus on a position, not their best overall interests. In a health- and wellness-focused world, listening—and thinking—from a holistic perspective is a critical means of encouraging the discovery of original, unexpected, breakthrough ideas.


3. Then, identify and mix-in more options and alternative outcomes. One way to generate a breakthrough in complex, difficult, and stalled negotiations is to introduce a wild card that changes the nature of the questions and issues being negotiated. Asking yourself challenging health- and wellness-based questions may help unblock your existing model of what a workable solution may be.


4. Now, thwart efforts to play to your perceived weaknesses. Health and wellness paradigms are really extensions of well-honed emotional intelligence skill models merged with a heightened agility and influence quotient (AIQ) that embraces mindfulness and conflict de-escalation expertise to find common ground and bridge divides. Self-care is different from self-absorption. Most of us are familiar with the emotional quotient (EQ), but AIQ empowers your thinking of yourself regarding self-care and being a conflict de-escalator to help make the task of leading a negotiation exciting instead of terrifying.


5. Finally, prepare for and give more power to playing the long game. In complex negotiations and in this hyper-conflict-driven era, finding common ground solutions is rarely straightforward. Instead of drawing a hard line in the sand, a health- and wellness-based sense of sensibility may help move you and your negotiation from here to there in a journey where is “here” is a stuck position, and there is a solution down the road.


To be clear, these steps are foundational thoughts that may provide a framework for developing an integrated set of interrelated touchstones in your journey to being a master negotiator and sculpting the life you want to live.


ABOUT RAYE MITCHELL, Esq – Raye Mitchell is a Harvard trained attorney, a conflict resolution and negotiation expert, speaker, and award-winning author of How Women Negotiate From a Position of Strength. Raye provides online training, leads workshops, and retreats focused on integrating health and wellness insights into negotiation and conflict resolution skills’ development, having fun, and assisting individuals, organizations, and teams in sculpting the life they want to live. Raye is the 2018 recipient of the prestigious Irwin Award presented by the Book Publicists of Southern California for her Life Above Average Empowerment Book Series that supports everyone’s journey to elevate their lives, be well and have fun in the process regardless of age, race, gender or body size. Follow Raye’s story at and her website at Follow on Twitter @drrayemitchell, #LifeAboveAverage.



ABOUT AWM SOCAL –  Alliance for Women in Media, Southern California Affiliate (AWM SoCal) is the local affiliate to the Alliance for Women in Media, a national, nonprofit organization. We extend membership to qualified professionals in the media and entertainment industries. Founded in 1952, our mission is to advance the impact of women in media by educating and acting as a resource to our members, the industry and our community. AWM SoCal is dedicated to empowering career development and driving positive change for our industry and societal progress. The Southern California Chapter of Alliance for Women in Media offers local benefits to its members. Visit Alliance for Women in Media SoCallearn more. @AWMSoCal

#BeatTheOdds, #LifeAboveAverage, #RayeMitchell, #InvisibleNoMore


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